In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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