bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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