you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
