hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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