I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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