i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
