you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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