I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
