Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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