i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
