..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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