first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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