what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
