Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
