At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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