So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
