When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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