who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
