you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
