I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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