is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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