If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
