There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
