When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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