Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize