so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I will be naked everywhere
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
