I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize