Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
