he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize