Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
