it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
