Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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