i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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