i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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