I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize