doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Randomize
