Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I need water and some morals
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
