he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
