well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
