i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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