North Korea, Best Korea!
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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