now i know why i became what i already was.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
