He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
