I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize