I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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