Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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