one two three fourrrrnication!
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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