Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
