I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize