mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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