I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
