just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
she woke up with a sticky ear
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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