She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
