My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
