hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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