Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
