please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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