I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I don't deserve a penis
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize