Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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