Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
