the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
