Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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