It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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