yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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