I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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