You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
