I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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