Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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