No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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