Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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