Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
