is your mom at the bar?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm just crazy horny about you
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
