Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
