I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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